iDon't Want Him To Go
by PD31
Summary: Freddie has exciting news about his future, but the news causes Carly to feel conflicted.
1. Chapter 1

**iDon't Want Him To Go**

**Summary: **Freddie has exciting news about his future, but the news causes Carly to feel conflicted.

**AN: Happy Creddie Friday everyone. **Just a little story I wrote for the occasion. Please enjoy. It will be very short, the next chapters should be up soon.

**Disclaimer:** I _still_ don't own iCarly, any of the episodes or any of the characters.

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"Carly! CARLY!" yelled Freddie Benson as he burst through the door of Apartment 8-C, Bushwell Plaza, Seattle, the home of his best friend Carly Shay. "I got in! I got in!" he declared excitedly.

"To what? Where?" the brunette teen asked him with a little confusion in her voice.

"MIT" he replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "FULL SCHOLARSHIP! Despite..." he threw a filthy look at the blonde teen who was sat in the Shay's kitchen and busying herself with a plate of ham "missing out on my camp last summer."

Carly traded a nervous glance with Sam Puckett, the girl who had sabotaged Freddie's NERD Camp application some months earlier, and she admitted to herself that she was slightly surprised to learn that he still harboured such resentment towards his ex-girlfriend over the matter.

"That's great!" Carly declared enthusiastically, knowing how much it meant to her friend to get into the prestigious school. There was, however, a nagging voice at the back of her mind telling her that it wasn't all good news, for her anyway: after years of being at school together and living across the hallway from one another, suddenly he would be a whole continent away, Carly having decided to stay in Seattle and attend Washington State University. Sam, having reaped the proceeds of years of her imperfect triumvirate (poor grades, poor behaviour, poor effort) had failed to get into a university and was looking instead at a local community college, so the two girls would still see each other on a regular basis. Carly _had_ applied elsewhere: NYU, UNH, North Eastern, Boston College and UCLA had also accepted her, but the lure of home comforts, such as the familiarity of Seattle and her older brother Spencer, had tipped the balance for her. She gave a wry smile while pondering that the chance to put a few thousand miles between himself and his mother may have tipped it for Freddie too. "So when do you have to leave?" she asked, working hard to sound casual and keep the fear out of her voice.

"Trying to get rid of me already?" he joked.

Sam piped up "I've been trying for six years Benson", her mouth full of ham.

Freddie shot her another look, as did Carly, before Carly responded "Quite the opposite; I want to know how much Freddie-time I have left before you go."

"Well there's a while yet: finals, prom" he said with wistful annunciation on the word and a subtle side-along glance at the attractive brunette he had long crushed after. He dropped his gaze almost immediately and continued, seemingly unaware that Carly was looking at him, a peculiar expression on her face, "graduation then the summer. Registration and orientation aren't until early fall so even if mom adds on a trip to see some family in the area you've plenty of 'Freddie time' yet" he finished casually, directing a smile in her direction.

"Good" she responded, returning his smile with interest.

* * *

Already a committed, straight A student, Freddie became even more driven on the back of the news of his college acceptance; leaving home earlier and getting home later, endlessly, remorselessly pushing himself towards the finish line. To begin with his new focus had been a source of frustration for Carly; while she understood her friend's desire and need to push forward with his work she was disappointed at how much it ate into her limited "Freddie time", not to mention reducing his ability to spend time with her and Sam working on their iCarly webshow (though he continued to be there for the show itself). Rather than discouraging him, however, Carly boosted the time she spent in his presence by asking to study with him, both before and after school. These "study dates" as they both humorously dubbed them increased in frequency, length and enjoyment on a regular basis; though Carly did put her foot down on Friday night sessions, insisting that they needed a break on iCarly night and to ensure the risk of burn-out was minimised. Freddie acquiesced to her demand and, by the time his announcement was a month old, the brown-haired pair found themselves well on top with their studies and very much in position to coast the down-hill stretch through to their finals (not that either was prepared to slack off, the friendly competition was pushing them to out-do one another at every opportunity).

Despite his being alone with, and in close proximity to, the girl he'd dreamt of since his eleventh birthday Carly was surprised that Freddie never flirted with or propositioned her (as he had done many a time in the past) instead focussing fully on his work and his future at MIT. She was _also_ surprised when she realised that this lack of 'affection' from Freddie was disappointing her; and she was _stunned_ to realise how much she missed it and really wanted him to be flirting with her again. Of course, being Carly, _her_ starting anything with him was out of the question so she turned back to the books and continues the game of competing with Freddie at their studies; hoping that a few more smiles, leaning closer to him and "accidentally" brushing against him would get his attention.

She was to be disappointed.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello everyone and welcome to the latest chapter of this little tale. Thanks as always are due to everyone who has read and reviewed.**

**Subject87 - thank you and I hope it lives up to your expectations.  
**

**Mix - it is going to be a shorter story than some of the ones I've written. Hopefully it will be short but sweet.  
**

**Anonymous teen - thanks for your kind words.  
**

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Carly and Freddie felt their hard work had paid off as they both breezed through their final exams and completed other assignments with time to spare. The pair chatted idly as they walked away from the hall after the conclusion of their very last exam; a brief post-mortem comparing answers (both happy with what they had written) followed by some consoling words for Sam, who appeared to have flunked yet another paper: her lack of work finally catching up with her.

More in hope than expectation Freddie had asked Carly to go to the prom with him; only to be stunned when she accepted. Sam mocked him mercilessly and incessantly for weeks leading up to the event, taunting him on how she was taking pity on him after all his years of unrequited love. The tech producer ignored her taunts and instead just focussed on preparing for the night, a night he was determined to enjoy. He donned his tuxedo and made his way across the hallway to collect his date, only to find he had to leap backwards when the apartment door opened. Sam was stood there, wearing a pretty sky blue floor-length dress with a napkin tucked into the top of it and wielding a handful of ribs slathered in barbeque sauce. The blonde laughed at her frienemy as he cautiously edged his way around her without getting his outfit dirty.

"I'd hit you with them Fredward but it would be a waste of sauce to smear it on _you_" she goaded before devouring more of the meat.

Freddie shook his head and began to climb the stairs, only to stop in his tracks as Carly's sweet voice called out

"Wait, wait, I'm coming down" before he heard footsteps on the stairs. He looked up to see Carly appear in view, attempting at once to make her way quickly downstairs and not stumble in her heels, which would result in her falling headlong into Freddie. For his part the tech producer noticed little of this as his gaze was reserved for her silver dress; the garment hugged her figure perfectly and ended just above her ankles. She wore her hair loose over both shoulders and a small, black handbag and silver-grey two-inch heeled shoes completed the look.

"Wow Carly, you look fantastic" he complimented his date, offering his arm as she reached him. She took it with a smile and he steered her down the last few steps to the living area, where Sam was desperately trying to suck barbecue sauce out of the right arm of her dress. The brown-haired pair looked to one another and shook their heads in unison at her antics.

"Nice going Puckett" Freddie smirked at her.

"Yeah, yeah, now shut up a minute while I fix this" she snarled back.

"Spencer, get her a cloth" the brunette sighed towards her older brother.

"But I'm watching the Boat Network" he complained.

A knock on the door curtailed the impending argument.

"Oh that'll be Brad" Sam noted. Freddie opened the door and invited the former iCarly intern in.

"Hey" he greeted the blond.

"Hey" Brad returned. "We all ready to go? Sam?" he looked towards his date.

"Almost" she said, running a damp cloth over the stain again; it was barely visible unless one looked closely now.

"Ok, you kids have fun now" called Spencer from the couch, his gaze never leaving the TV screen.

They bid the artist goodbye and left as a group, headed for the limo they'd all (apart, obviously, from Sam) pitched in to hire for the evening.

The quartet chatted amiably and excitedly on their way to Ridgeway Junior High School; Freddie in particular was determined to enjoy this night. Whether or not Carly was calling it a "date" he neither knew nor cared, he was simply going to spend the evening with the girl of his dreams. That was enough for him to know it would be a great event.

"Anyone know what Gibby's doing?" Carly asked as they emerged from the vehicle and looked around at the students beginning to gather outside the school.

"He's downstairs; Franklin hired him to do the catering." They smiled as they thought back to their meals at Gibby's restaurant; all except for Carly, whose memories of the place caused her to grimace instead.

"Hey Freddie, you're looking hot tonight" Wendy cooed as she sidled up to the group. Carly seized her date's arm a little more tightly, causing him to give her a curious look; she replied with an enigmatic smile. Remembering his manners he turned back to the red-haired girl.

"Thanks Wendy, you look really nice yourself; it's a beautiful dress." She was wearing a pale pink dress a similar length and style to Carly's. "Shall we?" he turned to Carly and gestured indoors.

"We shall" she smiled back and allowed him to lead her indoors, Sam and Brad following just behind them.

The school hall was decorated accordingly; a live band sat in the farthest corner and was already setting the tone for the evening by striking up a quick tempo song.

"I hope Gibby's not doing _all_ the catering" Carly complained. "Red pepper _everything_, that lunch nearly killed me!"

"I'm sure there'll be _something_ you can eat" Freddie reassured her. "Wanna dance?" he gestured to the dance floor, already beginning to fill with their classmates.

"Sure" she flashed her radiant smile and the tone was set for the evening; Freddie dancing with her (and others) and generally having a wonderful time. Even though she danced with other boys, and made it look like she was happy that they were mingling, Carly worked hard to make sure Freddie never saw the look of sadness on her face when Freddie wasn't at her side during the night. Instead she made sure to maximise the amount of time they spent together and enjoy every last second of it.

With the prom, their finals, and school in general, completed the trio had just the small matter of the graduation ceremony to go through (Sam was happy to find out she had just done enough to graduate) before the long summer stretched ahead of them. With it being their last time together before college, before they went their separate ways (though Sam would, like Carly, be staying in Seattle – at the community college while she figured out what she could do with her life and what she'd need to do in order to do it) plans were discussed and made. First thing on the agenda would be a trip to LA to visit their friends from Hollywood Arts. Spencer had an art exhibition in Vancouver so a trip up to Canada was also planned. The feeling continued to eat away at Carly, however, that her time with Freddie was rapidly running out.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hello again. As ever I would like to thank everyone for reading my work and in particular thanks Mix and S87 for their reviews. I hope everyone enjoys this little chapter as well.**

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Graduation Day had been bittersweet for the trio; it marked a clear end of an era and, particularly for Carly, drew into sharp focus the fact that in a matter of weeks Freddie would be moving all the way across the continent. They collected their diplomas, posed for photographs and, with a tinge of sadness (apart, of course, from Sam) left Ridgeway Junior High School for the last time ever.

The summer passed quickly, much _too_ quickly for the brunette; she, Sam and Freddie had had a great time in Los Angeles with Tori and the rest of their friends from Hollywood Arts, most of whom were moving on to UCLA together (André had his music deal and would be working full time for the record company), visiting the beach, taking in a few sights of LA and just generally having a fun time together. Again Carly found herself sadly musing that this was the end of an era, that Freddie would be unlikely to be able to make this trip again (unless they all met up for Spring Break somewhere). The gnawing in her stomach was intensifying but for some reason she was unwilling to acknowledge just how much it was also tugging on her heartstrings.

No sooner were the trio back from LA then they were heading north to Vancouver for Spencer's exhibition. They left the artist to his devices during the days and spent their time sight-seeing in the Canadian city (at least Carly and Freddie did; they first deposited Sam at an all-you-can-eat restaurant on the edge of Stanley Park – when they eventually returned and hauled her out of there the blonde complained that she hadn't yet had all that she could eat). Though she never admitted it Carly particularly enjoyed, having left Sam there, walking and biking with Freddie through the vast park. For his part the brown-haired teen particularly enjoyed the view of the city from the lookout tower and their visit to the science museum; Carly's favourite part of that day had been losing herself shopping in the Metropolis at Metrotown mall for hours (Freddie had seen all he wanted to in about an hour and had to spend the rest of the time in a bookstore waiting for his friend to be done). The pair had also visited the city's historic Gastown district; Freddie was fascinated by the famous Steam Clock there but all too soon their little trip ended and they returned to Seattle.

* * *

Before she realised it Carly suddenly found that Freddie's final evening before he left for Boston had come around; the brunette threw him a goodbye party (or, as Sam put it, a Good Riddance party) – one final evening together, one last chance to say everything that she wanted to. Instead...

"So this is goodbye then" she stated flatly, sadness in her voice.

"I guess so" he replied.

"I'll miss you Freddie" was all that she could say, scalding tears leaking from her eyes.

"I'll miss you too Carls" he said, pulling the girl into a hug. He gave her a soft kiss to the cheek and pulled her tighter. The two brown-haired teenagers hugged a little longer; more than anything Carly wanted to kiss him but she lacked the courage. Instead she whispered "Goodbye and good luck" before turning away to hide her tears.

After tossing and turning for most of the night Carly woke the following morning feeling rather sleep deprived but in a determined mood; it may be last minute but she realised that she _had_ to tell Freddie how she felt about him; she had denied it to herself all summer and now it was almost too late. The thought that he would be gone _today_ had crashed over her all night. The brunette threw on some clothes and bounced swiftly downstairs and out of her home. She hammered on the door to apartment 8-D only to be disappointed when there was no answer. She was about to knock again when Spencer called from behind her.

"They've already gone, Carly; they left about 20 minutes ago."

Carly didn't stop to think; she felt in her jeans pocket for her car keys and walked down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" her brother called after her.

"I have to go after him" she shouted over her shoulder without breaking stride.

Traffic was heavy as the brunette negotiated the route to the airport; she arrived and pulled into a parking bay checking her watch as she did. She had maybe half an hour before the flight took Freddie out of her life for ever. The web hostess raced into the airport and sprinted towards the departure area. She found herself nearing the gate as passengers for the Boston-bound flight continued filing through the departure gate. She caught sight of the back of her boy and his mother as they walked towards the plane.

"Freddie!" she called. A number of heads turned but the most important one did not; he hadn't heard her due to distance and the ambient noise as they approached the aircraft (_and possibly his mother being stood right next to him talking to him_ she thought grimly).

"Freddie" she repeated, but in her disappointment at his continued walk the word was barely more than a whisper. The object of her call had rounded the corner without hearing her or looking back and the feeling that she wouldn't be with him again for a long time, that he was going to be at college, _that he would probably meet someone else there_, all these thoughts were shattering the brunette web hostess's fragile heart.

"Freddie" Now her voice _was_ just a whisper.

"Fr-" practically no sound left her lips as she sank to her knees, tears coursing down her cheeks. She remained on her knees as the plane taxied away from the gate carrying the man she realised she loved, far more than just a friend, out of her life – maybe forever.

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**AN: Thank you all for reading; there will probably be one more chapter in this short story.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hello to all my readers. Happy Creddie Friday and welcome to the final part of this little story. A huge thank you to all of you who have contributed through your reviews; they are very much appreciated. Also please note I've upped the rating to T for a slightly more mature theme towards the end of this chapter.  
**

**Anonymous and Guest – thank you for your kind words.**

**Unknown – I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you didn't feel the pace detracted from it.**

**Mix – thank you; I'm glad you found everyone to be in character. And here is the conclusion :)**

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"And she hasn't left her room at all?" Sam asked; the blonde's voice was full of concern. She had been at the Shay's apartment every day (as usual) but her friend had refused to open her bedroom door and see or even speak to her; she had withdrawn herself entirely from the world since returning from her futile, fruitless race to Seattle-Tacoma Airport.

"No, not in three days" Spencer said sadly before brightening a little. "At least she's eating. I leave food there and the plate's always been empty later."

"Umm" Sam began guiltily.

"No way" the lanky artist was flabbergasted as he comprehended the girl's confession.

"It would have gone to waste otherwise" she protested.

Spencer shook his head, unsure if he was feeling more amazement or disgust, and made his way back to the kitchen to prepare something else for his little sister; he hoped that this time the brunette would be the one to actually eat it.

The artist was to get his wish over the next couple of days; Sam had promised the sculptor that she wouldn't eat his latest offerings, in fact the blonde trouble-maker additionally pledged that, if her co-hostess didn't start eating soon, that she would pick the lock on her room and force something down her throat if necessary. When she repeated that threat to Carly she smiled to herself, once she reached the foot of the stairs, as she heard the brunette's bedroom door open and her pick up the plate. The blonde returned shortly after to find the plate devoid of food; she smiled again and made a point of letting Spencer know to make sure there was plenty of food prepared for dinner.

Despite the fact that she was eating again, Carly refused to end her self-imposed exile from other people's company (beyond occasionally shouting through the door at Sam and Spencer that she wasn't coming out). Instead the girl remained in her room for a full week after Freddie had gone, ignoring any attempts that Spencer or Sam made to coax her out. The brunette had spent the time brooding, replaying her life with Freddie, the recently completed summer, the chances she had, and didn't take, to tell Freddie how she had come to feel. She missed him, really and truly missed the brown-haired boy – and she had missed her chance. The question she was now asking herself was _is it too late for me to change things?_ She smiled wryly and wondered _Is it too late for YOU to love ME Freddie?_ Other memories to flood her mind included their dance at the Groovy Smoothie, the taco truck incident, kissing Freddie for that glorious half-hour while they lay on his bed. _If only I could turn back the clock_ she thought miserably _I'd never have let him break up with me that day. Things would have been so different._ The brunette shrugged the thought off as she realised that she _couldn't_ turn back time, she couldn't change the past. All she could do was look to the future – and make the most of what the future could be. The pretty web star looked over to her bedroom door and sighed; it was almost time to re-join civilisation, she mused, but before that she had a couple of things that she needed to do…

* * *

Freddie was just finishing settling into his room; he had secured accommodation close to the building in MIT where he had the bulk of his classes. His mother had left for Seattle that morning and the young tech producer was busy organising the last of his boxes when he came across some of the photographs he had brought with him, particularly one of him and Carly in their outfits from the prom. He smiled a little as he eyed the picture, particularly the happy looks on both their faces. He placed the photo on his dresser and his eyes were drawn to the smiling brunette. His own smile dropped a fraction as he felt a pang in his stomach; he missed her (and, if he was honest, Sam and Spencer as well) but he felt that he was finally ready to accept that he needed to move on, that she was back in Seattle, she was going to college there for the next few years and he was on the other coast. He knew deep down that she would find someone else and that he had these four years to do the same, to build a new life for himself in Boston and then see where the world took him. He turned away from the picture and focussed on putting the final finishing touches to his room. He was almost done when he heard a knock on the door. His jaw dropped as he opened it.

Carly stood there, a bashful but determined look on her face. She stared deep into his eyes and never broke eye contact as she took a step forward, wrapped her arms around him and pulled him, unresisting, into a passionate kiss.

* * *

A couple of hours later the pair lay in his bed, cuddling. Freddie's arm was gently and idly rubbing Carly's bare shoulder; her hand was splayed across his chest. He gently brushed away a few stray hairs from her forehead and tucked them behind her ear, almost caressing her face as he did. He then proceeded to bend his neck sufficiently to give her a peck on the temple; this caused the brunette to giggle in response.

"So… North Eastern?" he prompted after a few seconds of comfortable silence.

"Hey, it's a good school" she countered, turning to face him. "In a _good_ location" the brunette purred as she reached up and pulled him down to her; they shared a long, lingering kiss before relaxing again into one another's arms.

The brown-haired couple were at peace with the world – and one another.

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**AN: And we're done. As said at the start this was just a short little story but I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it. If so, or even if you didn't, please let me know.**

**Many thanks for reading my work. PD31.**


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